ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE FROM AN EMPTY CUP

Most of us need to learn how to take better care of ourselves.  This doesn’t mean being negligent, unkind, or not doing for others.  It means learning to give from a state of abundance instead of lack.  That often means tending to ourselves first and foremost, not a given in our culture.  

Making Sure Your Cup Runneth Over

You can’t give from an empty cup. Iyanla VanZant, author, inspirational speaker, life coach and television personality, teaches that what’s in the cup is ours. What “runneth over” is what we’re free to give away if we choose. It’s a reference to the 23rd Psalm in the Bible where it says God, “…anoints my head with oil.  My cup runneth over…”  

In biblical times when you went to someone’s home and drink was served (it was often wine), the host always poured until it slightly overflowed. This was a polite way of indicating to guests that they were overflowingly blessed and had plenty to share, so don’t feel you’re depriving us by helping yourselves to as much as you want. 

For some reason, now we think it’s polite to give until we are physically, emotionally, psychologically, mentally, and spiritually living on empty.

Don’t Learn the Hard Way

One afternoon, my client, Paige, said she’d been stopped by a police officer because her car’s tail-light was out.  He checked her license. It had expired.  She didn’t get a ticket for the faulty tail-light but got a whopper of a ticket for driving with an expired license.

Paige sheepishly admitted that she’d been so busy taking care of her kids, helping her mother move into assisted living, supporting her husband adjust to his new job, and handling hers she just kept putting off renewing her license.  In the end, it cost her more than it saved her.

“I was so angry,” she said, “not just because of the ticket, but for being punished for being the good girl I was raised to be,” she added.  “By the time I got home, it was time to pick up the kids from school.  I remembered you saying that children don’t want perfect parents, they want happy parents, and I was far from happy.”

She paused and asked, “Do you think it was a wakeup call that I need to focus more on me and what I need like we’ve been talking about?”   

Not Everyone is Going to Jump Onboard

I congratulated Paige on her epiphany.  Then we discussed some of the changes she could make immediately without ruffling too many feathers.  When we change, others around us have to change as well. They don’t often do it willingly or happily.  While change is important, so is how we go about it.

Lessons Repeat Until We Learn Them

I warned Paige that if she didn’t pay attention, the lessons would become more severe. The Universe tends to work that way. You get a little slack for not knowing any better, but once you know better, you’re held accountable for doing better. “These lessons can become increasingly painful to your body, peace of mind, wallet, and health.”  I added.

You can’t authentically give what you don’t have.  With awareness, consciousness, practice (and perhaps the support of a life coach), you can become aware of when, where, and how you’re giving from an empty cup and course correct.

How to get a Little Help

Do you want to take better care of yourself, so you can take better care of others in your life?  Stop running on empty!  Click here to join me in a FREE one to one exploratory session.  You’ll come away with at least one new action you can take immediately, to take better care of yourself so you have more to give those you love. Click here to Schedule your FREE EXPLORATORY SESSION.  For more information about living authentically, click here and get your FREE copy of my “GUIDE TO AUTHENTIC LIVING: Ten Things People Who Live Authentically Know And Do…And So Can You.