HOW TO MAKE YOUR ANGER WORK FOR YOU

Much of the information being bantered about today can seem and even be somewhat contradictory.  It’s so important not to take anything too literally – bring your own sense of what is right and wrong (for you) and some common sense to it.  In other words, don’t buy what you see, read, or hear just because you like the person (or their work) selling it.  Including me.

Even God’s Been Known to Get Angry

For example, it’s easy to find all sorts of admonitions about the ill effects of anger.  It isn’t healthy.  It isn’t spiritual.  God, Buddha, the Universe, or however you refer to a higher intelligence, doesn’t like it.  Most medical professionals will attest to the negative health effects of holding onto anger. Just for the record, according to the bible, even God has been known to get angry.

Use Your Anger As Jet Fuel

The best advice I ever heard on the subject of anger came from Dr. Christian Northrup, M.D., Women’s Health Expert, and New York Times Best-Selling author.  She says, “Anger needn’t be bad or unhealthy if you do it right.”  So how exactly does one do it right?  “Use it as jet fuel to find your voice, then go figure out what it is, what it means, and what to do about it,” advises Dr. Northrup.

Deal With Your Anger Authentically

Sometimes the emotion of anger makes it easier to tell our truth (find our voice), and sometimes it may be a truth we weren’t even aware of until it bubbles up in the form of anger.  It is okay to rant and rage (in private and to yourself) and beat pillows to get the physical intensity of anger out of your body so you can begin to do the real work anger came to bring to your attention. That work begins with dealing with your anger authentically. Ask yourself what it is that made you angry, why, and who are you really angry with.  Could it be you-you’re angry with for allowing, tolerating, causing, or enabling the act(s) that provoked your anger? Get very specific with yourself and your feelings and…your anger.  Determine your options…what are you going to do about it, including apologizing if appropriate.  (You may want to Google Apology According to The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch for a wonderful definition and explanation of how to apologize authentically.)  Then and only then can you be ready to forgive whoever provoked your anger. Remember to forgive yourself if need be.

Don’t Move In With It

Lastly and most importantly, once you’ve done the above, do whatever you can to get out of any remaining energy of anger as quickly as possible.  Think of something that pleases you: sing your favorite song at the top of your lungs, turn on some music and dance your heart out, go for a good walk or a run.  Doing something physical will shift the energy fastest, and that is the key.  We get into trouble when we take up residence in anger or let it take up residence in us.

Anger Isn’t An Enemy As Long As We Do it Right

Anger represents emotional pain, and much like physical pain, it shows up for a reason.  It comes bearing information.  Our job is to feel it, not deny it out of some sense of spiritual duty; deal with it, not ignore it in the hope it will just go away; and to heal it, not just bandage it up with food, drugs, shopping, sex or alcohol.

Learn How To Move Through Your Anger

If you need help getting beyond (not bypassing) your anger, get help.  The problems arise when we pretend our anger doesn’t exist.  Schedule your FREE EXPLORATORY SESSION here.  I promise, there will be no hard sell.  I have no personal attachment to the outcome of our conversation beyond your feeling better for our having had it. For more information about living authentically, click here and get your FREE copy of my “GUIDE TO AUTHENTIC LIVING: Ten Things People Who Live Authentically Know, And Do…And So Can You.”